Carbs vs. ME

So I have secured my unemployment and I am feverently searching for jobs.  In this peril I have decided to lose the remaining baby weight… no I did not have a baby, I am talking about my baby weight which since now I am twenty six is probably a little overdue.  So there enters the problem, my idiotic solution . . . the no carb diet.  I have made it about eighteen hours now and a cupcake is calling me from the pantry. Here is a list of the foods I have already craved today.

Hot dogs, bread, burger and fries, bread sticks, bread, mashed potatoes, and bread.

So far into my diet I have learned two things. Bread is delicious, and a life without carbs is probably not worth living.

So I figured I would ask you all, what are some good no carb options???

Quote of the week

“The world is my oyster, and I’m going to F-ing shuck it”
Haley Girl

Unemployed, not overjoyed.

So officially a big hand for my former employer for contesting my unemployment.  I just want to say thank you because when you sell over a million dollars a year for someone I think the appropriate gift is a pink slip and a foot kicking your ass out the door.

So whats next? . . . .crickets

What is wrong with me? I have no idea what I want to do. (Other than T-pee my former employers million dollar home).

Maybe I should write on my blog all day about the crazy shit that happens? Can someone like me pay my bills with snarky comments and bitchy humor . . . . probably not, but hell it breaks up the time between searching for jobs and folding mike’s boxer briefs and old ratty T-shirts that say things like “stop looking at my walletus maximus”.

Mike is in Brazil for work this week (where do I apply?) lucky bastard. He is working hard I am told, and I do miss him so I am looking forward to his return Saturday.

back to job searching. . .joy.

Well I have been away for away, but you 4 people haven’t noticed have you?

Till next time,

Haley Girl

Can I go to the chapel in Jeans?

Hey Everybody,

So I am planning a wedding, and although exciting to think about, it also often induces a little stress (a.k.a panic attacks). I mean it’s not like I have to carry a brown paper bag to breath into  . . . yet. I like picking out flowers and the venue, but I absolutely hate trying on wedding dresses.

First of all I am not the skinniest girl. I do not have to be removed from my home via crane either.  I do not shop in the plus size department, but yet barley any of the wedding dresses I have tried on even fit. I have been working out and trying to eat healthy, but I don’t think I will ever be a size four again, and I am ok with that (I still have the pictures beotches!).

But it does bother me after all this time finding the right person (love you M) . . . (stop gaging) I can’t even enjoy finding a dress to marry him in. A woman at a bridal store yesterday said to me well this “is only half the dress we’ll need”!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The funny thing about this is this woman weighed more than me! WTF? Also I have a theory that this store had wide mirrors because I looked odd. (My skinny Sister in law backed me up on this).

So I shall continue my conquest to find the loveliest dress ever made to shove my booty in for my wedding day, until then I am boycotting dresses like the plague. Maybe I could wear something else ”bridal” like white sweatpants, or jeans, or maybe a very pretty white robe!  Have a good day peeps.

Till Next Time,

HG

Weddings Bah Humbug

So being a Bride is not all it’s cracked up to be. Here are just a few issues that have arisen. . . .

No place besides the Sizzler and My Jump Place are available until 2010. Apparently we became poor the minute we got engaged because according to my future husband everything “looks expensive”.  Also do you know how much money it costs just to go from the church to the reception? About 14,000 dollars. My kids won’t have braces, but at least we will arrive in style. I have a feeling I am going to elope or have a nervous breakdown. Taking bets on what you think will happen first.

Till Next Time,

Haley Bride

Shake it to the Ground!

This is for KReed

Shake it to the ground!

Tell Next Time,

HG

Will Anyone Snitch on Blagojevich?

Hello All,

So my corrupt beautiful town of Chicago is all in arms over Rod Blagojevich being arrested. I for one do not know all the information yet, but I will tell you one thing, M has been saying he is dirty for months. If even M thinks he ain’t up to no good then then good lord this man has been blatant in his pursuit of POWER.

There is a request of citizens to come forward to give information that might help the case against Rod and it will definitely be interesting to see what comes about from this request. I wonder just how many people the Blagojevichs have leaned on to get what then want.

Do you have information???

Till Next Time,

HG

Blog Experiment #1

So my sister came up with this random list O’ questions and I gave her  a list for her blog (mine were was sweeter). To check hers out go to my links and check Ethereal Girl out.

1. What are your top three vices?

Chocolate. I like it a lot (like I might push down a small kid to get to it, and then I would feel bad, but that’s probably just guilt from all that sweet chocolate I just ate).

John and Kate +8. I love this show from TLC it’s about a family with tons of kids. It makes me want to be a mom. (It also makes me want to take a nap when I see how much work sextuplets and twins are).

and sleep. I love sleep, and I feel as though I never get enough of it. I love our huge bed, and our sweet sheets.

2. What’s the best meal you’ve ever cooked?

I have cooked a lot of stuff, but meal wise probably the Cornish hen faux Thanksgiving dinner for M and I last year. (Faux meaning it happened the week after Thanksgiving) Tastes just like it sounds . . . Delicious. I am more of a baker so I would say my creme brulees or my kit kat mouse cake.

3. Are you ever going to sketch something for me?

As soon as you come see my house.

4. Any thoughts on standardized health care?

I think it is a great idea, only the other parts of our country are so screwed up I am not sure it would function properly right now. I do know that I have insurance and I still have shelled out a crap load of money this year for medical treatment, so I vote yes to a plan that will help people who do not have health care, and help us people who are paying for doctor and drug company employee’s summer homes in the Hampton’s. It’s simple Obamanomics

5. Name the best and worst advice you’ve received.

Best advice was to make people treat me as the great person I am (TOOT TOOT, sorry my horn went off). This advice was given to me because of all the asses I dated. Someone who cares about you calls, and shows it. Thanks KQ

The worst advice, was to start smoking. My love for cigs took seven almost eight years to quit and I still get sad thinking about how much money I spent, and how grossed I must have smelled (nast). I still miss reflecting!

6. Who is your celebrity crush?

Oh I love me some Edward from Twilight, I also think Stephen Straight is very good looking. (check out The Coven, movie). Other than that M is still the best looking man around.

7. What food did you like as a kid that you no longer like as an adult?

I think I went through food phases. I used to love Tomatoes and then for years I hated them, now I like them again. I loved Bologna like it was my best friend, and now I am not so fond.

8. Why do you talk so fast?

I don’t realize that I am talking that fast, but I reason it to that I am thinking a lot and have a lot to say so I try to get it out fast. Also you and R (older brother) used to beat on me so I talked when I could as a kid .

9. Did you ever attempt to call Jeff Gerard?

Your an ass. and No

10. What surprises you the most?

That I am this far in life. I remember thinking what my life would be like and so far I am pretty on track (minus the shitty economy). I try to remember to enjoy the now because it goes quick.

Till Next Time,

HG

Engaged. . . Woo Hoo!

So HG has gotten engaged. M took me to as a surprise to SIN CITY BABY!

Now many of you may be thinking WTF SIN CITY? But let me give some back story. I have always liked the idea that on my first wedding anniversary I would high tail ti to Vegas and have a drunken renewal wedding in the little wedding chapel. So M being the fabulous thinker he is thought that this would be the perfect reason to come back at one year.

So As we walked down the street we came to the Bellagio Hotel, which if you have never been to Vegas is the Hotel with the fountains out front . . . .

Ahhhh.....

 

As we reached the Bellagio Hotel, a lot of people were waiting for the fountains to start (it’s a very cool sight. So we decided to watch, as soon as the music started and the water started spraying I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around M was down on one knew. After asking him if he was sure, and securing the ring on my finger. We kissed about a million and a half times and celebrated with Dinner at monami gabi in the Paris Hotel.

It was an amazing night, and for all you ladies out there I got some sweet Bling too!

 I AM GETTING MARRIED, WHOO HOO!!!!!!

Till Next Time,

HG

P.s. Pic is from ask.com, video is from youtube.com

My Dad, My Hero

So I haven’t blogged in forever, so pretty much only Kelly has been affected by this. These past few weeks have been hectic. My father who is seriously the coolest dude alive had a heart attack recently. As if this didn’t scare the crap out of me enough, he had a second heart attack last Wednesday which sent him into emergency bypass surgery.

After hours of waiting we were given the good news my dad was okay. I learned a lot from this experience, first that  telling people you love them is important. Every single day, you really do not know when your times up. Second waiting room couches are not suitable for sleeping no matter what people tell you. Some people are truly amazing, special thanks to all the doctors and nurses who took such good care of my dad. I will never forget you.

My Dad is home now resting an recouping. He is kicking heart surgeries ass.

 

Till Next Time,

HG