Squirrel is watching you . . .

 I just thought it was funny . . .

HG

 

p.s. I stole this from the website of our home town.

Last Minute Halloween Costumes

Happy Halloween!

I thought you might need some help (We are procrastinators sometime) so here are some interesting ideas for you to ponder. . .

Scary Costumes . . .

1. Stock Broker- suit, tie, briefcase, and sadistic will to rob people of hard earned money.
2. Death Certificate- Just sit very still, and pin a a certificate to you.
3. Sarah Palin- A suit, glasses, a baby on your hip, and the desire to overturn Roe vs. Wade.
4. Our Economy- A lighter a map of the USA.
5. Ghost-Sheet with holes in it, and a copy of the Wall Street Journal to make it extra terrifying.

Fun Costumes

1. Amy Winehouse- Coffin, Last will and Testament, T-shirt that says one hit wonder.
2. Gumball Machine- clear garbage bag filled with balloons, red pants.
3. Garbage Man- Suit, hat, and a fat bankroll (he probably makes more than all of us).
4. HSM Character- (High school Musical) wear a suit and stand under an unemployment sign, this economy sucks, you ain’t getting a job.
5. Mr Bill- Blue Jeans, Red shirt, and say “Oh Noooo” all night. (This is for KQ)

Have a great and safe Halloween!

Till Next Time,

HG

My Mother is Coming . . .

Bonjour,

    So this has been a crazy stressful week! We have been painting, washing, installing, and going to work all week long. I have to say after all of the hard work I put in . . . I am fricken exhausted! (no exaggeration implied) We have been going to be at midnight almost every night. I cannot seem to get all the paint off me, everyday I;m in the shower and I find a new patch of it that I didn’t see before. (Yes I am washing everyday) My mother is coming to town and to prepare for her arrival we decided to get the projects done we had been putting off. A la the bathrooms and the boxes conveniently stashed around the house.

It does not help that I am still using two full boxes as a dresser because we have not found a bedroom set, but I sure do appreciate my sexy organized walk in closet I installed! (Go me, I bled for that thing) We are no where near close enough to have everything look perfect, but I am hoping for a Halloween Miracle! Well see if this happens or if I have to pull an all night-er tonight. (Boo on that idea) So today’s list will include paint touch ups in the downstairs bathroom . . .

Mental note: Never paint anything in a dark color unless your hiring professionals, because it is the biggest pain in the ass EVER.

Ok then after that I will be cleaning the wood floors putting away random crap laid en throughout the first floor. Onto the guest bath upstairs which needs to be cleaned and fresh towels laid out. The sheets in the guest room need to be washed as well as well as the giant bag of hangers that M cannot part with (seriously . . ?). I also need to clean the master bath to move all our crap in there and our loft which is full of at least three huge bins full of random cords that “we need!”. Ok.

Then there is my mother whom I love dearly, but I know I will be running around all weekend to celebrate my nephew’s Birthday (HAPPY B-DAY PEANUT!) and Halloween, and trick or tr-eaters etc. It’s going to be a long weekend . . .

Till Tomorrow if I Survive,

HG

We Interupt This Broadcast For a Special Annoucement . . .

Hello All!

So I heard some interesting news that Barack Obama has bought thirty minutes of advertisement time this evening. A thirty minute commercial, holy crap that is a long time. What do you think he will discuss? Is this going to be another Joe the Plumber night? Will we discuss his plans when he is elected President? Will it be a last minute reminder to vote? Technically that would only take about thirty seconds, but thirty minutes? What could we discuss in thirty minutes? In case he gets left with some additional air time, here are some ideas that could come in as handy fillers Barack . . .

1. Lets talk about the crap we wanna know, give us the dirt! Does McCain smell like Formaldehyde? Does Palin want to give me her expensive campaign footwear because those are  “The campaign’s clothes” and because she would rather shop consignment in Wasilla?
2. What about Greys Anatomy, does Barack think Meredeth and Derek will every cut the crap and just be happy together?
3. Does Barack break for animals?
4. Does he plan to go see the new movie Twilight on opening night too? (I think Barack would really like the Cullens too!)
5. Is Joe Biden as funny in real life as he is on Leno?

Either way I am interested in hearing him speak. On another note I am so proud of everyone here in Chicago and the Northern suburbs as of this morning it was reported that over 500,000 people have cast their ballots! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!! This is what true Democracy is about people! Voice your choice!

!!!!VOTE!!!!

!!! Seriously!!!

!!Our Future, Your Voice!!

 

Till Next Time,

HG

All fun And No Play Make HG a Dull Blogger

So I have officially become lame . . . .and therefore I decided to show this to my sister who is getting married next year. A WARNING Kelly this could happen to you!!!!!!!!!!

Till Next Time,

HG

Bumper Stickers are Fun For All

Alo all,

     So yesterday while driving to my brothers house to watch the kids I saw a sweet old school Chevy Malibu in a wonderful brown color with a bumper sticker that read . . .

“Don’t touch . . I’m not that kind of car”

     Now after the longest day ever basically I burst into laughter and started thinking what other funny bumper stickers are out there. So I did a little reseach and came up with the top ten list of the funniest bumper stickers. I think I am so intrigued by them because my dad never really liked them and we never had them on our cars. So here we go!!!

1. I am only speeding because I have to poop.
2. I Heart (shape) cats they taste just like chicken!
3. Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
4. Jesus is coming . . . look busy.
5. I Have Good Brakes, Do you Have GOOD Insurance?
6. Horn Is Broken Watch For Finger
7. My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student. 
8. Love Thy Neighbor, But Don’t Get Caught!
9. Kinky is using a feather, preverted is using the whole Chicken!
10. God Loves You! Everyone Else Thinks Your an Asshole

woo hoo!

 

Hope this made your day a little better, Happy Friday!

Till Next TIme,

HG

Hey Crazy People, Take your Pills

 

Hello,

     This will be short. Guys what the F? What are you doing where you have the time to do this shiz? I love blogging, but seriously this a little overboard. Spend you time finding funny childhood pictures of the candidates or embarrassing prom pictures. (Ok it’s a little funny) Have fun today, tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!!!

Till Next Time,

HG

Does a First Lady Make a Better President?

Good Morning All,

     I am up on this bright and shiny day and it only took a jimmy dean microwaveable sandwich, apple juice, and three wake up calls from M! I came across a story this morning on www.aol.com asking us Internet trollers who will be a better first lady, Michelle Obama or Cindy McCain. Now my first instinct is to laugh out loud. How in the world will the future Presidents spouse greatly affect our country?

     Then it hit me . . . Hillary Clinton. Hillary has made not only a political career as a Senator out of her husbands years in the White House, but she has also successfully come farther than any other woman to achieving a major party nomination for President of the United States. WTF? Are we still thinking these women (or men now) have no bearing at all in the decision making process for our next leader? Guess what . . . . they do. These woman (again, and now men) are the sound boards, confiders, partners, and lovers to the man and or women who will be taking office to run our Nation in the next few months. Their character and being is important, more so than any other details about a candidates family.

     So does Sarah Palin’s husband and his ten year old DUI say anything about his credibility now? Well mostly likely not, but there are definitely things that would affect how he advises his wife and acts as the Vice President’s husband. What about Cindy McCain? She has a history of volunteering in underdeveloped countries as well as adoption, but can her compassionate streak convince her husband to wake up an see that our economy is not “strong” as he put it. Can she show him how we as Americans are struggling?

     Can Michelle Obama be a better first lady because she has a higher education? Can she influence Barrack Obama because she as a lawyer she will have more knowledge of the law than past first ladies before her? The bottom line comes down to the decision whether these ladies (or men) will use their time in the white house to right children’s books, or to further causes not at the top of the agenda in a world where we fight multiple wars every day. Do these people affect the candidates? . . .yes. Do they affect who you will vote for? . . . . you tell me.

     Does a First Lady Make a Better President?

 

Till Next Time,

HG

Palin Party Still Jamming Out?

Hola Buenos Dias,

So I know I have been a lazy ass and it looks as if I only have to worry about three of you so I haven’t kept to many people waiting. I figured I would talk some shit today and see what happens : ). Well yesterday was a huge day for me . . .

I VOTED!!!!

Now this is not the first time I have voted, but it certainly felt very different. I actually was excited to cast my ballot (not dorky even though you may think it is) (VOTE PEOPLE!!!). However some things have come to light in the past few days that make me think again . . . how the hell can people vote for Sarah Palin? I know I know to each there own. I am glad we live in a country where people can express their opinions and thoughts, but come on people I HAVE MORE FOREIGN POLICY EXPERIENCE THAN SARAH PALIN!

     How can people stand up and support someone who wants to change the constitution (over my dead body beotch) I am not gay, but I wish Sarah Palin had a gay child, heck maybe she does. I wish she would know the hurt a mother faces when she cannot see her child get “married” because it is against the law. I wish she could see the sadness when you tell someone they are not an equal because of the way they were born. Why should we stop there Sarah . . . , why should we allow African American people to get married???, or Irish people either???? Why allow any of us to make our own choices or have our own thoughts?

     Oh that’s right because this is freaking AMERICA, land of the free and home of the brave lady. Just because you like to hunt animals and promote abstinence instead of sexual education up there in Alaska doesn’t mean your plans are going to clean up cities like Detroit or Miami. Why don’t we test these great ideas of yours out? Well I think we all know your plan didn’t work with the abstinence initiative, but hey maybe the gang bangers and drug dealers will like the looser gun laws you seem to love so much.

     I don’t think I need to tell you who I voted for, and I hope if your a Sarah Palin fan you really look at why your voting for her, because the country and the white house are going to be very, very different if we are going to have the Palin clan around for the next eight years. If you decide to go through with it, good luck to you and to the rest of us. . .

 

Till Next Time,

HG

I’m Going Going Back, Back to Cali Cali . . .

Morning all,

     I know I have been sparsely writing lately. It’s mostly due to the plague I have been sick with (crazy reaction to antibiotics = not good), and the enormous amount of crap I have had going on at work, but this weekend we are headed out West for a weekend to California for M’s cousin Carolyn. She is getting married in the Nixon Library which I have heard is supposed to be beautiful. They also boast one of the biggest rose gardens in California with over 1,400 rose bushes (rad fact).

     So we leave tomorrow and hopefully we will be able to spend a few days running around and enjoying some better weather than we have had here the past few days (This rain blows). I still have not packed, but no worries I am going to do it up tonight while I get sauced. I’ve mostly decided to do this because I can’t even remember the last time I went out drinking and because I have had the week from hell, also because I yelled at M this morning for making me buy a case of beer and he has only drank one in two weeks. (I know I am a bad person, but I am ok with it.)

     So I will try and update before I leave, and will post some stuff when I get back. It should be interesting because M’s family is like any other family . . . crazy, so we’ll see what drama will be unfolded this weekend. All I know is my new dress that I bought at Macys (also known as Marshall Fields to the majority of people around here) is the shiz so I am pretty stoked to rock it out.

Till Next Time,

HG