Carbs vs. ME

So I have secured my unemployment and I am feverently searching for jobs.  In this peril I have decided to lose the remaining baby weight… no I did not have a baby, I am talking about my baby weight which since now I am twenty six is probably a little overdue.  So there enters the problem, my idiotic solution . . . the no carb diet.  I have made it about eighteen hours now and a cupcake is calling me from the pantry. Here is a list of the foods I have already craved today.

Hot dogs, bread, burger and fries, bread sticks, bread, mashed potatoes, and bread.

So far into my diet I have learned two things. Bread is delicious, and a life without carbs is probably not worth living.

So I figured I would ask you all, what are some good no carb options???

Quote of the week

“The world is my oyster, and I’m going to F-ing shuck it”
Haley Girl

Unemployed, not overjoyed.

So officially a big hand for my former employer for contesting my unemployment.  I just want to say thank you because when you sell over a million dollars a year for someone I think the appropriate gift is a pink slip and a foot kicking your ass out the door.

So whats next? . . . .crickets

What is wrong with me? I have no idea what I want to do. (Other than T-pee my former employers million dollar home).

Maybe I should write on my blog all day about the crazy shit that happens? Can someone like me pay my bills with snarky comments and bitchy humor . . . . probably not, but hell it breaks up the time between searching for jobs and folding mike’s boxer briefs and old ratty T-shirts that say things like “stop looking at my walletus maximus”.

Mike is in Brazil for work this week (where do I apply?) lucky bastard. He is working hard I am told, and I do miss him so I am looking forward to his return Saturday.

back to job searching. . .joy.

Well I have been away for away, but you 4 people haven’t noticed have you?

Till next time,

Haley Girl

Shake it to the Ground!

This is for KReed

Shake it to the ground!

Tell Next Time,

HG

Fanpire For Life . . . .

ENJOY PEOPLE!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!

http://www.moviefone.com/unscripted/twilight/334/twilight-unscripted-complete-interview/2319619

Till Next Time,

HG a.k.a Fanpire

Squirrel is watching you . . .

 I just thought it was funny . . .

HG

 

p.s. I stole this from the website of our home town.

Locklear Mugshot, “Worth It?”

Good Morning All!!!!

     So unfortunately Miss Heather Locklear was arrested over the weekend for DUI citing not alcohol, but prescription drugs. Whenever this happens don’t you just want to slap people and say what the hell were all those bitch fights and makeout sessions on Melrose Place if not to pay for a fricken CAB, or be it a limo. Even though it is extremely upsetting that people never learn I do find one thing about this extraordinarily HILARIOUS . . .

HER HAIR

     Beotch is the spokesperson for LOREAL HAIR COLOR, yup hair color and her roots look like they been a growing for while now. So Heather what the hell lady (your not looking anywhere in the neighborhood of worth it). Get your crap together, stop injecting crap in your face and go to the salon. Maybe even throw in a pedicure because if your roots look like that (WTF) then what do your feet look like? This would be like if Julianne Moore was arrested and all of a sudden had more lines and wrinkles on her face that a shar pei (cute little puppy). Anywho time for me to get to work and stop being Beotch Mc’Beotcherson. Have a good day all!

Till next time,

HG

Hey Chicago Whadya Say?

CUBS FRICKEN WON SATURDAY!!!!!!

Good Morning all,

     The Chicago Cubs did it! And we are well on our way to the World Series people!!!! I can not wait to see if the Sox can pull it our of their rears and make this a cross town classic so we can kick some arse in the World Series! I was so happy to hear this that I put a little tribute video up here, it’s one of my favorites. Enjoy!!! Go Cubs!   

I Have Fallen in Love. . . . With Twilight!

Morning Beotches,

     Hello all, hope your ridiculously short weekends were fabulous. Mine sucked (courtesy of moving into the new house, more on this later). Any who, I have a confession to make. . . it only took me until page thirty six to fall completely and madly in love with Stephanie Meyers book Twilight.( I know K it’s coming)

Yay!!!!!

     The book is based in present day and details a vampire (Edward) falling in love with a human girl (Bella). Now before you get all crazy and think I have turned into my nerdy sister (kidding K) okmaybe I have a little. I however am admitting K was right this book is fabulous! I love it and I have not been able to put it down so all out twilight-ers out there woo hoo to you! I especially love the way they all interact it’s magical, I am only on page 327 so I cannot wait to see what happens next.

P.s. A little shout out to M, he is reading Playing for Pizza by John Grisham, he says is pretty good. It’s about a football player who leaves the NFL after losing a championship game and then somehow is forced to go to Italy and work. (I prefer The Firm, myself but hey who am I to judge? This book was marked “Juvenile” when I picked it up. (That sticker came off immediately)

Photo Courtesy of: www.ask.com

Till next time,

HG

Political Fan Mail Has Arrived, Sarah Palin Secret Weapon, Or Sinking Ship II

Good Evening All,

I was surprised to see so much feedback from this last post, but none the less thanks for all the shout outs. One in particular struck me and since I love the challenge, here we go . . .

This comment was issued to my last post regarding the Republican candidate for Vice President Sarah Palin from a charmer that goes by the name VM License.

Dear HG, in the singular, the correct grammar would be “a woman”, not “a women”. If it happened only once, I might’ve chalked it up to typo, but the same mistake twice, plus your use of “THERE” when you meant to say “THEIR”, draws your capacity for political discernment into question. You can blog all day if it makes you happy — it’s still a free country. But if enough folks like you vote for the same reasons you do, I wonder how long we will remain free. Do us all a favor and get an education — you owe it to your country.

BTW, a McCain/Palin administration would be the best thing to happen to this country since Reagan. Hopefully, after four years, we’ll see Palin as the first female President. I’m confident that she would do a fantastic job. She could handle the American economy, and difficult nations/persons like Iran/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (in case you didn’t know, he’s the guy that want’s to erase you from this planet as absoultely soon as he can get nuclear weapons). I’m certain that no one from the Democratic party is trustworthy to handle either of these situations – their worldview is too skewed and myopic. Hope you get it figured out.

and here is my response . . .

Dear VM,

Well let me first say thank you for contributing to my blog and proving a point to all who land here (even if that is by mistake). THIS IS A FREE NATION. We are free to have opinions and  . . . spelling errors. Thank you for pointing out my errors in grammar, even us college graduates make mistakes I guess. I am glad you took time out of your day to stop here. Why you ask? Sing it with me peeps, Freedom of Speech!!! Because you boast about John McCain and his new running mate Sarah Palin, who by the way opposes giving women the RIGHT and freedom to have an abortion under any circumstance.

Sarah Palin is proving her stance by standing by her 17 year old daughter who is unwed (apparently not for long) and five months pregnant. Hey guess what, shit happens. Now I have clearly stated my beliefs and I don’t know what kind of “freedom” you think this women offers you, but I do not want to live in a country where a women who has been the victim of a rape cannot have an abortion. There is supposed to be a separation of church and state for a reason.

As far as an education I think you have been watching to many 60 minutes specials (Go Barbara you crazy B) on Terrorists because if you had been doing your research you would know that your candidate for President has voted 90% of the time in alliance with the man who has brought nothing but economic distress and a war that garnered us numerous deaths and no closer to the “revenge” we sought after 9/11. Yep that’s right McCain your main man has been following in Georges footsteps already. Now I support our troops, but not a war that is fueled by OIL.

I am very glad you are informed regarding Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, but as far as trustworthy candidates. Your pick for VP is under investigation for inappropriate employee dismissal, with a daughter who is unwed and pregnant. She also currently has been in office for two years, and has no foreign policy experience at all. If my candidates view of empowering us as a nation without spending billions on war, while letting women, GASP! make choices for themselves when it comes to our own bodies, then guess what it’s starting to look a little skewed from over here too.

Whoever wins this race will have the next four years to prove themselves. . . .

Good luck in November,

Till next time,

HG